When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Randomize
