And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
it's like iHOP with fire
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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