This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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