Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize