im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
