yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
