At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
