who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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