i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Operation Purity has been aborted
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
