Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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