? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
