my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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