I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
