It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
