i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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