Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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