theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Randomize
