This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
