He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
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I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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