did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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