on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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