I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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