yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
