So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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