Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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