Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
My bed smells like the plague
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
