Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
