see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
