You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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