he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
What drink are we having for lunch?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
