so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
