not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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