Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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