it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
