Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
