So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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