I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
