i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize