so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Sext me about skeletons
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
