And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize