Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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