that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You left your underwear on the fireplace
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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