Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
