So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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