Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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