Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
