She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
