In America we eat man semen.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
