Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
