After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
