Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
