this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
