Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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