Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
