people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
