I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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