I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just invented taco cereal.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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