There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize