Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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