How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm at about main and main street
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
