apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Randomize
