At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
