I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
