i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
